Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house?
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Omg i was buying some shirts at forever 21 and the cashier was like arent u tumblr famous or something lmao i stayed quiet for like 5 seconds and i was like not really omg and she was like yah i follow u on instagram
Nice.
- student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
- uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
- scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
- us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker. you have six months after graduating to start paying loans so you better pray to fucking god and jesus that you have a well-paying job by then or be prepared to be fucked up the ass without lube.
- me: how are you today?
- customer: every second of my life is absolute hell. my misery knows no bounds, and my despair comes from nowhere but resonates deepest in my chest below my heart.
- me: credit or debit?
on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine
On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.
one crack cocaine
hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please
debit or credit
I actually have a gift card
fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card
I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.
you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping
why did i have a customer that hole punched his credit card’s chip out, because “he didn’t want a chip”, and then didn’t understand why I couldn’t process his transaction
lubricates